What drives you? No I mean what REALLY drives you deep down in your soul? That passion and love that make your heart hurt. That’s what I am talking about. If the answer isn’t somehow involved with your goals (whether personal, spiritual or mental growth) then maybe it is time re-evaluate.
Can goals involve other people? Absolutely. Example: “I want to have a better relationship with (insert noun here)”. Or “I want to be a better parent”. Or “I want to be more involved in my kids school or hobbies”. Or “I want to spend more time with my family”. Maybe love as a whole is that driving factor. Maybe it’s your kids, or your spouse or best friend or pet. Maybe it’s yourself. Maybe it’s your job or a sport you play or a hobby you are passionate about. Maybe its music. Maybe it’s community and being involved in helping others. Maybe it’s an itching you’ve always had to do something to change the world. Regardless of what it is, that passion and love deep down… THAT’S what fuels success. Usually its a combination of things that motivate us, so don’t feel overwhelmed if it’s multiple things that come to mind as you’re reading this.
To be honest, I find that many people that tell me they are struggling with their goals it is because their goals are not aligned with their drive or motivation. Being in tune with yourself is an important part of balance and success.
Step one is knowing what your drivers are and building your goals to be aligned with your love and passion for those drivers. Write them down. Maybe not all at once but maybe when you’re feeling them in the moment. Or if you don’t know where to begin, try to make a list first then narrow it down later. I’d suggest you make tally marks next to each item on the list every time you get that love or passion for them to help organize them by importance to you over time.
Step two is linking your goals back to your drivers. This can be directly or indirectly. (I will provide a few examples below of what I mean by this.) This will help you prioritize your goals and stick to the important ones.
Lets say one of your drivers is your kids and you just want to be involved in their lives as much as possible.
A direct link would be directly related to that driver. So a few goal examples would be: volunteering for school field trips or being interested and involved in your kids hobbies or after school activities. It might also be having a special parent/kid day (or even family day) once a week or once a month where you guys do stuff together like hiking or trying something new together to build a stronger bond.
An indirect link would be a goal that is indirect to the driver but still links back to it. For example if you have a goal to lose 20lbs, how can that tie back to your kids? Make a list of all the pros of losing the 20lbs and how they can relate back to the driver.
Here are a few examples of things you may find on that list: more energy, more active, better mood, healthier, better quality of life, setting an example for your kids that goals are important and you can and will achieve them. Now personalize it so it appeals to you when you read it: “I will achieve my goal of losing 20lbs because I want to have more energy (some may add..so I can do more with my kids)”, and so on and so forth for each pro on the list.
Another way you could link this goal of losing 20lbs back to the driver is maybe doing something active with your kids like hiking, biking, walking, running, playing sports, dancing, or even trying something new with them. Maybe cooking healthy meals together.
These are just a few examples to elaborate and give you a better understanding of how to tie your goals back to your drivers. This is important because if a goal is not linked to our drivers or motivators in some way, we tend to push them off because they just aren’t that important.
Goals that are less important are still goals. But if we are constantly setting goals that are not important to us (not linked somehow to our motivators) we may eventually feel like goals aren’t worth it because we never succeed. This is something we want to stay away from so it is important to set realistic and attainable goals, that motivate us. In the example above, if 20lbs seems too difficult, maybe start with 10lbs, or even 5lbs and then build from there. “I lost 5lbs, I feel great and I know I can lose 5 more.”
And finally step three is seeing the goal in your mind already achieved by you. Think into the future and picture yourself achieving that goal. Feel those feelings internally that you expect to feel when you are successful and the goal is achieved and hold onto this until it happens. Close your eyes, and mentally go here on the hard days.
Another really important part of being in tune with yourself is accepting failure and knowing it’s okay to fail as long as you don’t give up. You don’t really hear/read about the failures on social media. Most people don’t post about the days or even months they fall off track, because it’s not motivating. But they happen! To all of us! It is important to know when you fall off track or have a few bad days it doesn’t mean give up. It means dust yourself off, let it go, and pursue on. Shit happens.
I am finding that the older I get, the better I get at being in touch with who I am, what motivates me and where I want to be in this life. (And no I’m not just talking health and fitness goals- I am talking life goals). Things that used to seem like big obstacles now seem smaller. I may be bummed out for a moment but I seem to overcome them faster because I just say “I’m not going to let this slow me down”. I look ahead and see my goals just beyond the clouds obstructing my view. This is because I have trained my brain to have a better outlook on things. (Because I have been setting goals that are linked to my drivers and achieving them.) I have a better mindset overall.
Let me just end this by telling you, I am just a regular, hard working, woman who has had her fair share of struggles and found this method helpful when setting goals and sticking to them. This post is simply my opinion and advice. Take it like a grain of salt, or give it a try and see if it works for you!